My Retainer Lisp

About two months ago I got really sick with the flu that knocked me out for five days straight. While I was sick in bed, I of course had my trusty lab at my side sleeping next to me. One night I asked my mother to bring me down a slice of bread and some jello so that perhaps I could eat something since I hadn't eaten in 24 hours. I took my retainers out and placed them on the plate and ate about two small bites of bread before falling asleep because even though I was extremely hungry, I was even more tired. My dog, who loves any type of food, slept by my side the entire night without once getting up to try and eat the food still on the plate by my bed. However at around 4 in the morning I got up with the need to hurl, yet again. I jumped up and ran straight for the bathroom. After sitting next to the toilet for half an hour, I made my way back to my room to find the plate tipped over and all the food gone with one of my retainers sitting on the floor next to the plate. The retainer for my top teeth was no where near the plate and I instantly guessed that it was with the jello and bread that had been on the plate before my expedition to the bathroom, they were all in my dog's stomach. I yelled my dogs name and he looked up at me from his innocent looking spot on my bed, acting like he didn't know why I was mad at him. I searched around on the floor, because I simply couldn't believe that he had eaten my whole retainer. I found my top retainer just a few inches under my bed and sighed in relief. Unfortunately as I checked it for damages, I found that it had in fact been half chewed up by my silly dog. Since I was sick, I just picked up my retainers, put them on my dresser, and went back to bed, my dog still laying on the soft blankets without a care in the world. Once I got feeling better, I told my parents about my retainer and asked if it would be possible to get a new one. My dad told me to just clean it off and keep using it, so after soaking it in denture cleaner and brushing it multiple times, it was good as new, except for the chewed half of my top retainer. Because it doesn't exactly fit perfectly on my teeth any more, I now talk with a lisp when I wear my retainers at night. A fact that has me and my roommate laughing hysterically some nights as we try to talk about the days events. Dogs . . . ya gotta love 'em.